Picture of someone who is very angry!What is Anger?

Experiencing emotions is a normal part of being human. Emotions of themselves are not right or wrong, good or bad. They are part of our internal warning system. For example:

Being in touch with our emotions helps us relate to other people and understand ourselves. Not knowing how to manage or express our emotions in healthy ways affects our relationships with others and our own self esteem.

Anger is normal

Anger is a normal healthy emotion that we experience when we perceive that something is unfair or unjust. It is normal to get angry when we feel that our needs are not being met in some way. If we didn't feel anger, we would not know that we need to stand up for ourselves. However, the way we respond to feelings of anger can be right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy.

Anger often comes with a burst of energy that can make us want to react quickly. The advice of our mothers to "Count to 10 before responding" was wise because it gives time to stop and think about what to do and how to react sensibly rather than in a rash manner.

However, in some families children learn from a young age that they aren't allowed to get angry, so when they should be angry, they don't allow themselves to respond, even in appropriate ways. The energy that comes with feelings of anger is suppressed temporarily, but still needs to find a way out. If we don't find a way to deal with it in a healthy way, then this suppressed anger will eventually express itself in an unhealthy way. It may be ACTED OUT or ACTED IN.

UNHEALTHY ways of expressing anger

Acting Out:

When you are angry you may notice that aggression gets you what you want from other people. Getting your own way becomes the trigger, rather than the anger. However, aggressive behaviour comes at a cost:

If your relationships are not lasting or working well, consider whether your behaviour is really working in your favour or not.

Acting In:

Consequences of suppressing anger or expressing it unwisely can include things such as -

HEALTHY ways to express your anger

Are you living with an angry person?

Is there someone you are living with who:

Then please get help before it is too late! In the list of useful links at left are services that can help you.

"You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." John 8:32